The Water Displacement Theory

So. As I've grown older (and maybe wiser?) I've slowly learned that when it comes to dating, looks aren't all they're cracked up to be. However, physical attraction is still important--if not, then why did God build it into us? One problem I've come up against time and time again is related to this, and it's height. That's right, I'm saying it: dating as a fun-sized adult male (5'6") ain't all that easy. Even short girls don't want to date me sometimes because they apparently enjoy feeling like ragdolls in the hands of a gorilla than like a woman in the hands of a man! Hmph! Okay, alright, back to the point... I've noticed that I often quickly befriend tall, attractive girls (because we have a mutual unspoken understanding that neither of us will ever make a move on the other), and it's got me thinking--what am I looking for? So I developed the "Water Displacement Theory."

Here's how it works:
If you put me in a pool of water, I will displace a certain volume of water.
If you put a girl in a pool of water, she gets mad at you. But she also displaces a certain volume of water.
The volume of water she displaces must be equal to or less than the volume I displace, or we can't date.

Bam! What do you think? I like it because it's decently open ended--dateable girls for me, according to this theory, could be tall and thin (to a point) or conversely short and curvier (and I mean feminine and curvy--not chunky. C'mon BBWs, give that word back! You can't just go around hijacking adjectives meant for NOT you!!!). Pretty versatile, eh? Girls will probably agree too because they like a man with some substance to him, so it's mutually awkward when there's more woman than man in a couple. (Well...not for everyone I guess. Even Kip needs a LaFawnduh.)

What do you think?

Clearly this is working well for me so far...

Mormonism

Hey everyone! Well, since no one knows this blog exists I guess I should say "hey someone...maybe...someday!"

Today as I read a headlining Yahoo news article talking about the newest Mormon Ad campaign--which tries to convey the fact that most of us are quite normal--I was reminded once again of why I don't like reader commentaries anymore.

First off, isn't it crazy how people think that just because they CAN comment means that someone CARES what their opinion is? Ever since the advent of reality TV shows where viewers can vote on competitions, Americans think that they are somehow qualified experts on everything they see or hear or read. But the fact is that they are not!

But I digress back to the theme of what people say about Mormons. I dealt with it every day, face to face as a missionary in Santiago de Chile for two years, but it seems to bug me even more now how here in the US the vast majority of people believe absurdly ridiculous things about us and if you correct whatever falsehood they spew they will fight you on it!

Really, Americans? Really? Who would know, your obviously biased pastor who swears (no matter how "well-intentioned") that Mormons worship Satan, have multiple wives, and literally have horns? Or the NORMAL person you've been friends with for years who's been a member of the Church their whole life? Now that you think about it, they clearly doesn't have horns OR a harem of concubines and you respect them because of their Christ-like attitude...

How sad is it how often I see people choose to continue propagating absurdities picked up in their church or on HBO or from a comedian or from some other source even when they know it doesn't even add up logically, let alone compared to what they feel.

*Sigh.*

It's interesting to me how Mormonism is the only religion left in the US that can be officially maligned, mocked, and falsely portrayed by even the most "respectable" of people or programs, and people just accept it.

I'll end by saying that, ironically, every time I hear or see or read any anti-Mormon comments it just further proves to me the truthfulness of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. Why else would everyone hate us so much? Why else would some churches dedicate entire classes or booklets to maligning us?

--Because it truly is the living Church of the Living God and Satan wants it to fail.

THAT is why the misconceptions and falsehoods and lies about about us. Because it is TRUE, and Satan HATES THAT!