So. As I've grown older (and maybe wiser?) I've slowly learned that when it comes to dating, looks aren't all they're cracked up to be. However, physical attraction is still important--if not, then why did God build it into us? One problem I've come up against time and time again is related to this, and it's height. That's right, I'm saying it: dating as a fun-sized adult male (5'6") ain't all that easy. Even short girls don't want to date me sometimes because they apparently enjoy feeling like ragdolls in the hands of a gorilla than like a woman in the hands of a man! Hmph! Okay, alright, back to the point... I've noticed that I often quickly befriend tall, attractive girls (because we have a mutual unspoken understanding that neither of us will ever make a move on the other), and it's got me thinking--what am I looking for? So I developed the "Water Displacement Theory."
Here's how it works:
If you put me in a pool of water, I will displace a certain volume of water.
If you put a girl in a pool of water, she gets mad at you. But she also displaces a certain volume of water.
The volume of water she displaces must be equal to or less than the volume I displace, or we can't date.
Bam! What do you think? I like it because it's decently open ended--dateable girls for me, according to this theory, could be tall and thin (to a point) or conversely short and curvier (and I mean feminine and curvy--not chunky. C'mon BBWs, give that word back! You can't just go around hijacking adjectives meant for NOT you!!!). Pretty versatile, eh? Girls will probably agree too because they like a man with some substance to him, so it's mutually awkward when there's more woman than man in a couple. (Well...not for everyone I guess. Even Kip needs a LaFawnduh.)
What do you think?
Clearly this is working well for me so far...
